Questions have been raised in recent weeks of Matt Lucas’ recent good form.  This commissioner has taken a leaf out of Ratten’s book and decided to do some spying and has come up with some startling discoveries. 

This photo was taken the week after the draft.  You may recognise this man……



Matt, you may want to

 add players that score points

What a novel IDEA!!!!!!!!

 The above exchange does explain a lot. That’s right,  the person who inspired the default team. (although to be fair he did hand in more teams than Cristian) is helping Matt win games. Trev was a mastermind of the game, he kept winning even though he did not submit any teams.   I know what you are thinking, why would Trev help Matt when he didn’t even hand in teams himself?  Well the commissioner had a conversation with Andrew Johns who said “Trev was very upset how he was not invited back, so he wanted to bring FFL into disrepute and what better way than to have Matt actually win the whole competition, so he is helping him get over the line to get you back. Also that Waterhouse bloke can’t be trusted”  And as we all know Andrew Johns is all legit!

In other “weird that they keep winning” news are the Boners.  The reasons for Malcolm’s wins are of course much clearer.  Working at a prestigious private school in a prestigious position means he doesn’t have to do all that much.  He has his secretary do his photocopying for him, while the poor plebs at Upwey have to beg to increase our photocopy budget by 25 cents so we can at least run a class.  Malcolm has his coffees made (from a local café, none of that instant stuff) and I have it on good authority he receives a daily fanning session with a harpist playing in the background. The fanning is zephyr like and pleasant.  The harp music is soothing and mindful and you don’t have to suck on a raison. (Mal you may have to ask Hedy for an explanation of this line)  What does this mean for FFL?  Well Malcolm simply has more time to research, more time to pontificate and more time to strategize.  

Some people who are clearly not strategizing are Tom and Andrew.  Tom’s results have been most disappointing.  It all started when he came late to the draft and it was all downhill from there.  It’s like if you run late in the morning, for some reason you just run late all day.  Once an FFL enthusiastic, not sure what has happened here.  I hope it’s not Andrew getting into his ear about that stupid other football game people play in Australia (and I don’t mean soccer).   It seems Tom looks forward to FFL starting all off season.  Yet like a child who anticipates what they will get  at Christmas time, disappointment can ensue.    When the said child receives a knitted woollen jumper from NAN  instead of an xbox, sometimes anticipation doesn’t amount to satisfaction.   The same could be said for Tom’s underperforming Magpies.  Dreams of ultimate success do rely on you handing in a decent team.  Otherwise it is a very long off season.  

And as for Andrew’s team.   The ONE week I suggest his team has some chance of winning, what does he do?  Fails to submit a team!  Maybe as the new kid on the block he wants to keep Tom happy by being crappier than him.  However Andrew, nothing can compete with the feeling that you beat your boss!  It only comes close to the feeling of beating Grant.  Step up your game McNeill, we don’t want another “Cristian” (VERB: to pull out because you’re a wuss) 

And finally the Panthers, they are not immune to my criticism.  They have been playing very poorly all year and I think the chemist is to blame.  The coach, in a bid to win a second title, decided that it wouldn’t harm anyone much if she ordered some performanced enhancing drugs.  Unfortunately her chemist heard de-enhancing drugs and decided to mix Xanox,  chloroform, stilnox and a thickshake.  The fact they had to inject this did seem suspicious but Sophie preferred to bury her head in the sand (a technique working very well at Bomber land)  

The double round seemed to work very well and there was a mix of wins and losses all round.  IT also felt very satisfying knocking off two games at once.  Its like finishing that huge pile of correction in only half the time (or so I have heard, my correction pile never ends)

So keep up the good work coaches!  Let’s see what carnage the ladder will go through in the next third of the season!